No more Fiji Water? How about Cleveland Water?

Fiji Water is leaving Fiji. This will put hundreds of Fijians (is that right?) out of work, but who cares about that? Not me. I'm more concerned about where the company is going to move to and what they may change their name to. 


My suggestion: Cleveland. Here's why: 1) They're on the banks of the luxurious Lake Erie. 2) They're desperate for jobs. 3) Tropical islands in the South Pacific are so out (sorry Tonga). The public is craving more rust belt middle America. 4) Cleveland really needs this right now. They just lost their #1 industry (LeBron James)


Here's a promo video for Cleveland and see what Fiji Water could have: