A little game of "Guess Who?"

Whose body does this describe: "coffee-bean ... velvet-covered cement"? Answer after the jump (don't have anything in your mouth when you read the answer, you may spit it out onto your monitor).

Beard Papa is Magic

I've been busy at work, so I haven't had time to update today. Since I'm busy, read something that I wrote on an old blog of mine:

Sarah Silverman may claim that Jesus is magic, but she must have never met Beard Papa. His magical cream puffs have converted me. Beard Papa is my Jesus now. Sacrilegious? Yes, but insanely delicious.

To make this decision I had to do a lot of soul searching and thought as to who to wage my eternal soul on. Ultimately, I settled on a test that would once and for all settle this debate, a taste test.

Oscars Stuff on the Internet Rundown!

While I was away this week (by away I mean actually doing work at work), Oscar nominations came out. There weren't really any surprises this year, besides Winter's Bone being nominated for Best Picture. Seriously, that movie should have been called "Winter's Bore" (and with that zinger I'm back!).

Since I love movies and the internet, here are a bunch of things that I've come across dealing with the Oscars:

I am showing you my teeth!

Most of my posts are me writing two or more lines of hilarious really funny humorous chuckle-worthy text and then introducing a video (typically it's of cats, but to be fair, that is representative of what's on the internet). This post is completely different. In this post I'm going to write two lines of text and then link to a funnier blog entry on a funnier blog. Sorry for blowing your mind.

Here's the premise for the funnier blog entry (as quoted directly from the funnier blog): "What happens when a gorilla sets up a profile on the dating site OK Cupid (with the username "iamagorilla") and then starts messaging girls? See below."

Understanding movies is difficult

Some movies can be difficult to understand (why did they make a Yogi Bear movie?). Luckily, some directors make little maps to help you understand what's really going on. For example, Christopher Nolan created a detailed map to help guide him through the making of Inception. Inception wasn't even the most hard to follow movie of 2010. That honor goes to SATC 2 (Sex and the City Part 2: Electric Boogaloo for those of you not in the know).

The movie brought up so many questions, such as: Why was that movie ever made? Can I have my money back? Is that what hell is like? When they finally build a working time machine, can I use it to stop that movie from ever being made, or will that then stop the impetus that makes time travel possible (time travel is weird)?

Well, we may never know the answers to those questions (except the hell one; that is what hell is like), there is a detailed map that helps explain the plot. Here it is:

Kid do (steal) the dardest things

Two six year-olds were caught robbing a house this weekend. They stole Candyland, Little Debbie's Fudge Rounds (I seriously ate two of those a day throughout high school), two hammers, pickled vegetables (I figure they thought that they'd need some veggies in them after eating a whole box of fudge rounds), some money, and some cigarettes. Crazy kids. 


The craziest part? One of the kids pulled out a fairly real looking BB gun when approached by a cop. Oh, those crazy kids. Always robbing homes and pulling out weapons when approached by the police.

Do Senators also only work three hours every week too?

This just in...congress is trying to not do work (okay, that may not be "breaking news"). Senate Republicans (more like Rebublican'ts, am I right? No? Whatever.) sent a letter to Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV) saying they're not going to pass any more bills till the Bush-era tax cuts were extended. 

More astrobiology news to come

NASA, the agency best known for being the capital of the Bahamas, is set for a major announcement on Thursday that "will impact the search for evidence of extraterrestrial life". People are speculating that it will be an announcement about possible life (aka bacteria) on Titan, one of Saturn's moons. My guess, they're going to announce that they've found a monolith on the surface of the moon. We'll have to wait until Thursday to know for sure.

True Grit? More like Truly Awesome Looking (sorry about that. It's the best title I could come up with).

Awhile back I was at Powell's Books in Portland, (which is one of the best places on earth. You can decide if I'm talking about Powell's or Portland) and I saw the novel True Grit with a sign under it saying that it was going to be made into a movie by the Cohen Brothers. I bought the book, not wanting to see another of their movies based on a book without knowing the source material (I read No Country for Old Men well after seeing the movie and would have loved to have read the book first).

No more Fiji Water? How about Cleveland Water?

Fiji Water is leaving Fiji. This will put hundreds of Fijians (is that right?) out of work, but who cares about that? Not me. I'm more concerned about where the company is going to move to and what they may change their name to. 


My suggestion: Cleveland. Here's why: 1) They're on the banks of the luxurious Lake Erie. 2) They're desperate for jobs. 3) Tropical islands in the South Pacific are so out (sorry Tonga). The public is craving more rust belt middle America. 4) Cleveland really needs this right now. They just lost their #1 industry (LeBron James)


Here's a promo video for Cleveland and see what Fiji Water could have:

Wild, Wild Horse

Here's a heartwarming story about a man who saved a wild horse's life and then it's eyesight. Ahhh. If you read the stories that went along with the The Hidden Life of Guns post, then you'll need something to pick you up. 

The right to arm bears? Oh, bear arms.

The Washington Post has a really, really interesting series on The Hidden Life of Guns (I don't think it's related to The Secret Life of the American Teenager, but I've never seen the show. So, maybe?). It explores how guns get into the hands of criminals and the damage that is done by guns. Seriously, read/watch it (it's a multimedia experience), it's fantastic. 

Expecto patronum, more like expecto alotum

Yesterday I read the Washington Post's review of the latest Harry Potter movie, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part I, (which I am very excited about) and literally got goosebumps. I'm so excited for the movie, yet, as the article states, a little sad about it too. Next summer will be the last Harry Potter movie, and then it'll be all over (except for the theme park, and the video games, and the merchandise, and possibly more Harry Potter books, etc.).

And now for something completely different...

Slate has a really interesting article on finding common ground in the abortion debate in the country. It's a thoughtful piece that lays out some ways that "pro-life" ) groups could really impact the number of abortions in the US (The # 3 way is to "embrace contraception"). A lot of these are "no duh" concepts, but it's really nice to hear these ideas come out of the "pro-life" movement. Actually, the " " maybe unnecessary in this case. These groups (at least some of them) may actually earn the pro-life moniker, since they are pursuing ways of reducing abortion without taking away choice.

That's not a moon

The Daily Mail has some awesome photos from the ISS (that's the International Space Station, not the International Sequins Society) today. The photos are amazing and sad. Sad because you'll never have as cool of an office view as these astronauts have. Sucks to be you (and me, and almost everyone else on earth).

Four Hour Work Week? I can do better than that.

Yesterday, I was informed by an avid reader (by that I mean, they read one post and didn't die) of Three Hour Work Week that my blog's title is similar to another blog and self help book The 4-Hour Workweek. 


Here's how wikipedia describes The 4-hour Workweek: 

The book asserts that technology such as email, instant messaging, and Internet-enabled PDAs complicate life rather than simplify it.^[4] It advocates hiring virtual assistants from developing countries such as India to free up personal time.

Here's how wikipedia describes Three Hour Work Week:

No Results. Did you mean: The 4-hour Workweek?

It's the most wonderful time of the year

It's my one of my favorite times of the year. No, not Thanksgiving. It's MLB free agency time! While it looks like the Natinals aren't going to get Cliff Lee (or anyone outside Carlos Pena), it is still exciting to read about the rumors and hope that you're team actually improves over the winter. So, today as I type up notes from that meeting that kept me from updating the blog, I'll also be reading mlbtraderumors.com.

If you're less interested in if Zack Greinke is going to be traded to the Twins than I am, I've got some baseball related sites that are more fun than geeky (well, maybe they're geeky, but they are fun). Flip Flop Fly Ball is a great site, especially if you love infographics. And really, who doesn't like infographics? That's right Al-Qaeda. Have you ever wondered which teams give out the most bobble heads as promotions? Well, look below for a fun infographic that will answer your questions. 

Is it 5:00 yet?

Just so you're aware, it is not yet 5:00PM. This day is painfully slow. Here's a comic from xkcd.com to pass the time. 

LOST + a Cat + a Jerk = Hilarious email exchange

You've probably already seen the "Lost Cat" email exchange between David Thorne and his coworker, but I'm extremely bored at work today, and just reread it. It's really a great way to kill time. 

Panda, you get a F at life.

Whenever I hit a slow patch at work (about 92.5% of the time), I look to find fun stuff to read on Internet. Here's one of my favorite stops, Animal Review. Who doesn't like reviewing and ranking things? I do.