Your Three Hour Work Week Holiday Gift Guide

I'm late on this, I know, but here's your official Three Hour Work Week Holiday gift guide (remember this is the only official guide, don't be fooled by imitators). Here's how this gift guide works: I'll give you one present idea for a category of person (mom, sibling, parent of small child, illegal alien, etc.). I have not done the research on if the items I've linked to are the best price out there, or if they are legal, or if they're actually real and not a goof. I do nothing as a profession and I'm not about to exert myself pro bono. Got it? Good. Here we go:

I'm on vacation. Shouldn't you be on vacation too?

I'm out of the office working to outfit dolphins with cameras to see their reaction to watching Two Girls, One Cup (I wish that my job required me to work with fancy robo-dolphins, but it doesn't). 


Good luck finding stupid internet videos without me...mhahahaha.

Don't pull a Nicolas Cage this holiday

I find the holidays somewhat stressful (evidence: I want to punch a panda). That being the case, sometimes I want to lose my shit. I don't however. That's for Nicolas Cage (great, or greatest actor ever? That's for history to decide). Here's a video of Nicolas Cage loosing his shit.