Shit just got real...

So today I'm reading the facebook (yes, I refer to Facebook like a 65 year-old grandmother would, deal with it) and came across this headline "South Dakota Moves To Legalize Killing Abortion Providers" and I immediately think "well, that's obviously fake and from the Onion. Turns out it's not fake. It's real. Let that sink in for a second (here is a picture of me right when the headline sank in). In other news, Congress is attempting to de-fund Planned Parenthood. Rep. Mike Pence (R-Ind.) has introduced H.R. 217, which would deny federal family-planning funds under Title X to groups that offer abortion access (AKA Planned Parenthood).

Yep, people are so concerned about "babies" before they're born, yet once they pop out (I'm told that babies "pop out" and anyone that says differently is wrong) no one cares about them. Thankfully, Steven Colbert sees that once babies are born, that's when the problem starts. Check out his "Enemy Within" piece on toddlers.

Yep, that's a hummingbird peeing

You demanded it, so I'm posting it. Thanks to all of you that wrote in demanding to see a video of a hummingbird peeing. It's always great to hear from my reader(s). Why you asked for such a weirdly specific video, I don't know. Anyway, here it is. Enjoy it.

Have you heard about this show called Portlandia?

PORTLANDIA. PORTLANDIA. PORTLANDIA. PORTLANDIA. PORTLANDIA. The entire first episode is available on Hulu now. PORTLANDIA. PORTLANDIA. PORTLANDIA. PORTLANDIA.
Happy Friday!

Aflockalypse: SOLVED

We've all heard about the Aflockalypse (the thousands of birds dying off in Arkansas and elsewhere). There have been many theories as to why this is happening. SNL proposed that it was bird on fish sex that caused the mass culling. The repeal of Don't Ask, Don't Tell has been blamed (obviously). A random crazy dude thinks that BP's reckless drilling for oil is the cause (again, duh). These maybe crazy (except for the BP one), but the truth is out there.

To find the truth we need to look at what we know about birds and what we know about Arkansas. Well, birds lay eggs and they can be protective of them. Arkansas is home of the University of Arkansas Razorbacks, which has a pig (it's more of a boar, but close enough) as a mascot. Therefore, the only reasonable conclusion is that the pigs of Arkansas stole the birds' eggs, and they died flinging themselves at the pigs in order to get their eggs back. If you're still confused, check out the video below.

A good day for science (aka Jenny McCarthy is still crazy)

Maybe you've heard that vaccines cause autism in children. Super smart people, like Jenny McCarthy and Jim Carry, have gone on, and on, and on about how they do. This is all based on a 1998 paper by Andrew Wakefield in Lancet (which has been retracted). Well, that was all B.S. According to a new report in the medical journal BMJ, the 1998 study was based on doctored information. That's bad for McCarthy and her bunch. 


Still this probably won't stop the anti-vaccine people from claiming that vaccines cause autism. It does add more ammo to the pro-vaccination side's war to properly inform the public about what vaccines actually do (hint: they prevent deadly diseases). Here's a fun video of Penn and Teller (the bastions of public health knowledge that they are) talking about the benefits of vaccination (fyi, they use bad words).

Resist the Green Dragon! No, I'm not talking about weed, I'm talking about environmentalism.

There's a new threat to our children (not that you and me have any children together), and it's the most dangerous threat since Harry Potter, Obama speaking to children in schools, or pick your own crazy threat to our children (seriously, we don't have any kids, right? I'm starting to worry that I've missed something). The new nefarious plot to kill/de-God-ify the next generation is the "green movement".