Momma said knock me out?

I’ve been threatened to be beat up several times. I’m talking about unprovoked threats from random people. It’s always dudes. So far no women have threatened to kick my ass. I’m not saying that they couldn’t just that it hasn’t happened yet. I’m sure women want to beat me up just as much as men do; it’s just that they were socialized not to verbalize these thoughts. Damn this gender-role fascist society that we live in! I hope that one day women feel just as comfortable threatening to beat my face in with a hair drier (or hammer, I’m not trying to say that women can’t wield hammers just as well as men). Maybe when Hilary’s president… More likely it will be when President JWOWW steps into office that I’ll get my first double X chromosome threat.

I still think The Simpsons is funny

The Simpsons have been on the air for about 50 years now (I need to fact check that, but I'm pretty sure it's right) and some people say that it's lost it's touch. They may be right, but recently The Simpsons have had some quality bits. Here are some that I think you should check out:

I'd go crazy too

Today's interweb video of the day (yes, that's a thing here on Three Hour) is of a little kid going crazy after doing a boardslide down a handrail. Doing a boardslide is nothing to sneeze at (I did one once at a skate park in St. Petersburg FL. That's right, be impressed), but it's not like he did an impossible.

More astrobiology news to come

NASA, the agency best known for being the capital of the Bahamas, is set for a major announcement on Thursday that "will impact the search for evidence of extraterrestrial life". People are speculating that it will be an announcement about possible life (aka bacteria) on Titan, one of Saturn's moons. My guess, they're going to announce that they've found a monolith on the surface of the moon. We'll have to wait until Thursday to know for sure.

Have you included Sun usage fees in your monthly budgets? No? You'd better start

Angeles Duran is set to make a lot of money for herself and the Spanish Government (looks like that 300 year siesta is finally over). Angeles is the new owner of the Sun. No, not The Sun the newspaper, the Sun the star that gives life to the planet Earth.


So, get ready to start paying for use of the Sun. I don't know how this is going to work, but they'll figure it out and bill you. Make sure that you pay your bill otherwise they'll turn the thing off somehow. 

True Grit? More like Truly Awesome Looking (sorry about that. It's the best title I could come up with).

Awhile back I was at Powell's Books in Portland, (which is one of the best places on earth. You can decide if I'm talking about Powell's or Portland) and I saw the novel True Grit with a sign under it saying that it was going to be made into a movie by the Cohen Brothers. I bought the book, not wanting to see another of their movies based on a book without knowing the source material (I read No Country for Old Men well after seeing the movie and would have loved to have read the book first).

No more Fiji Water? How about Cleveland Water?

Fiji Water is leaving Fiji. This will put hundreds of Fijians (is that right?) out of work, but who cares about that? Not me. I'm more concerned about where the company is going to move to and what they may change their name to. 


My suggestion: Cleveland. Here's why: 1) They're on the banks of the luxurious Lake Erie. 2) They're desperate for jobs. 3) Tropical islands in the South Pacific are so out (sorry Tonga). The public is craving more rust belt middle America. 4) Cleveland really needs this right now. They just lost their #1 industry (LeBron James)


Here's a promo video for Cleveland and see what Fiji Water could have:

How about a big monster came and took him to Daddy Heaven?

As you already know, Leslie Nielsen died yesterday. Nielsen stared in some of the funniest movies of all time (No, I'm not talking about Dracula: Dead and Loving It. Yes, The Naked Gun is one of the funniest movies of all time. Deal with it!). A lot of articles have been posted about Nielsen in the past day, so I thought I'd list some of the ones I liked best. Enjoy reading and laughing.

All Day!

Have you been listening to Girl Talk's All Day as much as I have? Good for you. Mashup Breakdown is a great site that allows you to visualize all the samples in each song. Try to see how many samples you can guess on each song.

Football is fun (sometimes)

I really enjoy college football (even if the Gators suck this year). The clip below is proof of just how awesome college football can be. Check it out, it really is amazing. 

Happy Thanksgiving from Three Hour Work Week

Have a Happy Thanksgiving. Hope that you're having fun with your family and friends and not in line at Best Buy (seriously, just buy a TV on Amazon. It's still cheap and they'll ship it to you and install it for you. It's much better).

I'm on vacation. Shouldn't you be on vacation too?

I'm out of the office working to outfit dolphins with cameras to see their reaction to watching Two Girls, One Cup (I wish that my job required me to work with fancy robo-dolphins, but it doesn't). 


Good luck finding stupid internet videos without me...mhahahaha.

Don't pull a Nicolas Cage this holiday

I find the holidays somewhat stressful (evidence: I want to punch a panda). That being the case, sometimes I want to lose my shit. I don't however. That's for Nicolas Cage (great, or greatest actor ever? That's for history to decide). Here's a video of Nicolas Cage loosing his shit.

Videos of a guy doing cool things with bikes!

Here are some videos of Danny MacAskill doing cool things with his bike. That's it. Enjoy!

New Buffy Yay! Wait...No Whedon? NO!

Hollywood's effort to reboot every series, franchise, movie, TV show, and/or board game ever made has taken another victim. Buffy the Vampire Slayer (vampires are so 2009), is being rebooted (yes, the series was a take off ,or reboot, of the 1992 movie) without the help of Joss Whedon. Blasphemy!

I could really use a panda to punch right now

Do the holidays have you stressed (my answer would be "Dear God, yes!")? Do you sometimes wish you could punch a panda? Then you're a horrible person. I can meet you halfway though, and let you punch Nate Hill of Brooklyn NY. He dresses as a panda and allows people to punch him. He calls it Punch Me Panda. Here's how he describes it:

Wild, Wild Horse

Here's a heartwarming story about a man who saved a wild horse's life and then it's eyesight. Ahhh. If you read the stories that went along with the The Hidden Life of Guns post, then you'll need something to pick you up. 

My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy (or at least Kanye's)

We all know that Kanye's an ass (or at least a gay fish), but apparently he's also very talented at making music (wait, is that why he was famous originally?). His new album, My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy, was rated 10 out of 10 by Pitchfork. Pitchfork, which is somewhat harsh when it comes to music (the last studio album that got a 10 out of 10 was Yankee Hotel Foxtrot by Wilco. That only came out in 2002), loved this album so much that I'm going to get it. 

The right to arm bears? Oh, bear arms.

The Washington Post has a really, really interesting series on The Hidden Life of Guns (I don't think it's related to The Secret Life of the American Teenager, but I've never seen the show. So, maybe?). It explores how guns get into the hands of criminals and the damage that is done by guns. Seriously, read/watch it (it's a multimedia experience), it's fantastic. 

Hooray for the small things

Thanksgiving is coming up, and that can only mean one thing, trying to think of your "something I'm thankful for" bit when you go around the table during dinner. Well, if you're a Vikings fan (and if you are, my deepest sympathies for you during this trying time), I have the thing for you. The Vikings finally fired Brad Childress!

Harry Potter Infrared Battling Wands? Yes, please.

This weekend I saw Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, which I'd been excited to see. I'm happy to say that it did not disappoint. It was exactly what I had expected, dark, sad, bleak, and sometimes funny. What a perfect Friday night movie, right? Now that I've seen Part 1, I cannot wait for Part 2 to come out next year. 

Oh that's why those birds are so angry...

Everyone can agree, Angry Birds is one of the best (the best?) games on a phone since snake. It's the perfect way to waste countless hours waiting for the bus, metro, or your other non-waiting for public transportation time-killing-needs. It's so great that fans are making the characters into Halloween costumes and making fan videos.

Maybe Ariel isn't the best role model...

"Don't talk to a man until he kisses you on the lips." "If you have a loving father, run away from him." These little pearls of wisdom come from Second City's Advice for Young Girls from The Little Mermaid (there's also advice from Snow White, and Belle). It's quality advice that everyone should pass along to the young ladies in their lives.

Follow me and I'll lead you...to stupid videos online

This is a shameless plug for you readers to follow my blog (just click on the follow button at the bottom of the screen). I want to get a sense of who my audience is so that I can deliver the specific type of crap you want to distract you. Also, I want to know who my audience isn't. This way I can hound the people that I think should be reading Three Hour Work Week until they cave and give me attention.


Now, as promised, a stupid internet video:

Heaven's 4 Realz

A four year old underwent surgery, and saw heaven. CALL THE MEDIA! There's a big man in the sky, and this boy saw him. Check out the clip below to see the seriousness that this is presented in. There is no way that this four year old would lie about anything. 

It's a Contest!

The other night at trivia, the movie Deep Impact was an answer to a question. This prompted me to make the hilarious joke, "Don't google that at work." I'll wait a minute for you to stop laughing. Done? Good. I started thinking of more movie titles you probably shouldn't google at work, and this is what I've come up with so far:

Who would've thought that Spike Jonze would make a dark, disturbing music video

The greatest rock band on earth (Arcade Fire) has a new music video directed by Spike Jonze and it's really good. That's a shocker I know. Spike Jonze cited Arcade Fire as a "central influence" for Where the Wild Things Are (The movie was meh, but the trailer was AWESOME!). 


If you enjoy Spike's short films, you may also want to check out I'm Here (a robot love story).  


If you want another Arcade Fire short (interactive) film experience, check out The Wilderness Downtown featuring the song We Used to Wait (you'll need a browser that supports HTML 5, like chrome).

Secrets of Success or: How I stopped worrying and realized I'm not special.

Sometimes I wonder why I'm not more successful (too short for a pro basketball player, not enough rhythm to be a musician, willing to accept a job that only has me work three hours a week, etc.), but according to Malcolm Gladwell it could just be that I don't have the love. 

Photo bomb your time away

If you want to kill some time online and laugh at funny photos, but are over People of Walmart, then head over to This is Photobomb. It's basically the same thing as any other sites. You say "look at that weird guy," but instead of them being solely at Walmart, they're in the background of people's photos. They've done been photo bombed! So, go there and kill some time. You may even run across some celebrities photo bombing (and being photo bombed by) people. 

Expecto patronum, more like expecto alotum

Yesterday I read the Washington Post's review of the latest Harry Potter movie, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part I, (which I am very excited about) and literally got goosebumps. I'm so excited for the movie, yet, as the article states, a little sad about it too. Next summer will be the last Harry Potter movie, and then it'll be all over (except for the theme park, and the video games, and the merchandise, and possibly more Harry Potter books, etc.).

Get ready for the weirdest thing you'll see all day

Isabella Rosillni is a weirdo. Now that that's out of the way, she's also pretty interesting. She has two series on the Sundance Channel, Green Porno and Seduce Me, and both of them revolve around the sex lives of animals. That doesn't sound very interesting, or neccessarly weird, but it is.

Beer chart of the day

Pop Chat Lab has put out a new poster entitled "The Many Varieties of Beer", which has all the major styles of beer, with representative quaffs for each style. It's an awesome chart and a cool poster. I spent a good 5 minutes looking for my favorite brews. Is yours on there? Yes, Miller Lite is on there. No, that is not my favorite.

Don't bite your friends.

My name is Matt, and I like to dance. That's why I watch Yo Gabba Gabba! (only on youtube and when I'm spending time with my niece). I was turned onto Yo Gabba Gabba (that's an unfortunate way to phrase that) by The Soup, and later by my brother (hence the niece). 

And now for something completely different...

Slate has a really interesting article on finding common ground in the abortion debate in the country. It's a thoughtful piece that lays out some ways that "pro-life" ) groups could really impact the number of abortions in the US (The # 3 way is to "embrace contraception"). A lot of these are "no duh" concepts, but it's really nice to hear these ideas come out of the "pro-life" movement. Actually, the " " maybe unnecessary in this case. These groups (at least some of them) may actually earn the pro-life moniker, since they are pursuing ways of reducing abortion without taking away choice.

Two more movie trailers. Sorry.

Boy, if you don't like movie/TV trailers, I've got nothing for you so far today. Here are a few more that I forgot to include in my last post. These look good.


Cowboys & Aliens (not a sequel to the Aliens vs. Predator series thankfully):

MOVIE TRAILERS! They're probably better than the actual movie.

Today's interweb video(s) of the day are a bunch of movie trailers for you to watch. These movies may or may not be good (I'm looking at you Twilight: Fairy Tale Edition Red Riding Hood), but the trailers will entertain you. Enjoy.

It's "Joey", but this time on Showtime

How you doing? Get ready to hear that about 500 more times this year. Joey Lawrence Joey from Friends is back, and apparently he's hung (scratch that, Hung is a comedy on HBO not Showtime). Matt "My name isn't actually Joey" LeBlanc is staring in the new show Episodes on Showtime, and after watching the trailer for it I kinda think that it could be funny. Whoa! Again, wrong Joey. My apologies. 

Look at a map and learn where you live.

Here's a cool map. It rearranges the globe so thats countries with large populations correspond with counties that have a large geographic area. Another cool thing about the map, the USA stays where it's at (so does Ireland, and Yemen, but who cares about them?). America, FUCK YEAH!

Name that cub!

The National Zoo is teaming up with the Washington Post to get the public to name two of the new born lion cubs at the zoo (I believe the other cubs' genders aren't know, so they're calling them all Shemale for now). So, submit your best male name and best female name to the Post to see if you're a winner (statistically, it's not likely that you're a winner though, so don't get your hopes up).

Today's zombie news of the day

In today's horrible news, The Hollywood Reporter is, ummm, reporting (man, that sounds weird. Just me? Okay, moving on.) that season 2 of The Walking Dead is going to start next October. Now, that may not sound bad to people that don't realize that we are three episodes into the first season, and we're already half way through it. That's right, a six episode first season. Lame. 


In the mean time, you can get your zombie kick by playing video games (just got this on Sunday and it's great), watching movies (filmed in Ft. Myers FL), or attending Zombiecon (also in Ft. Myers FL).

Finger Skateboarding + French Luxury = Unexpected Awesomeness

In general, I don't really think that finger skateboards are all that cool, but after seeing this ad for Hermes I'll need to reconsider. What this guy can do with a finger skateboard is really very awesome (checkout the kick-flip through the handle of the bag at 1:49). It probably won't get me to buy any luxury handbags (wait, not probably not, definitely will not), but it did get me to go to the Hermes website (that's not nothing).

That's not a moon

The Daily Mail has some awesome photos from the ISS (that's the International Space Station, not the International Sequins Society) today. The photos are amazing and sad. Sad because you'll never have as cool of an office view as these astronauts have. Sucks to be you (and me, and almost everyone else on earth).

Is Abed a qualified OB/GYN?

If you love Community, but aren't very observant, then you'll want to check out today's interweb video of the day. A few weeks back, Community aired an episode (The Psychology of Letting Go) that revolved around Jeff feeling old, Pierce not mourning his mother's death, Britta and Annie engaging in a wet t-shirt wrestling match, and some other stuff. Something seemed to be missing from that episode, Abed. However, if you paid close attention, you saw Abed star in his own storyline (which, I'll admit, I completely missed). Watch for yourself below.

Four Hour Work Week? I can do better than that.

Yesterday, I was informed by an avid reader (by that I mean, they read one post and didn't die) of Three Hour Work Week that my blog's title is similar to another blog and self help book The 4-Hour Workweek. 


Here's how wikipedia describes The 4-hour Workweek: 

The book asserts that technology such as email, instant messaging, and Internet-enabled PDAs complicate life rather than simplify it.^[4] It advocates hiring virtual assistants from developing countries such as India to free up personal time.

Here's how wikipedia describes Three Hour Work Week:

No Results. Did you mean: The 4-hour Workweek?

I want a Mark Twain Prize

Tina Fey is funnier than I am. There, I admit it. She received the coveted Mark Twain Prize for Humor and received it in DC last week. The entire show is great and I suggest that you watch it. It features the comedy stylings of Alec Baldwin (as Mark Twain), John Hamm, Steve Martin, and Jimmy Falon (okay, please don't let those last few names scare you off, it really is funny). Another plus, it's an hour and a half long. That's a great time waster. 

Girl Talk - ALL DAY - All free

Do you like Girl Talk (Duh)? Do you like free music (Free is my favorite price point)? Do you like getting free music legally (I guess so)? Gregg “Girl Talk” Gillis has made his latest album, All Day, available for download free of charge. Download and listen.

Boom goes the dynamite

Watch this tower in Ohio get blown up something good, and then almost take out the spectators (thankfully, no one was hurt). Put this clip to Yakety Sax and you have yourself a great clip.

Happy Friday (or Phriday)!

Tired of looking at people's vacation photos on facebook (Yes, I get it. You're having a much better time in Hawaii than I am having sitting in my cubicle.)? Well I hope not, because last Friday's Photoshop Phriday on somethingawful.com was great. The theme was Monster's on Holiday (or as we say here in the US of A, vacation). 


Take a look at these monsters letting their hair (or tentacles, or whatever weird hair-like substances that they have) down and relaxing.

It's the most wonderful time of the year

It's my one of my favorite times of the year. No, not Thanksgiving. It's MLB free agency time! While it looks like the Natinals aren't going to get Cliff Lee (or anyone outside Carlos Pena), it is still exciting to read about the rumors and hope that you're team actually improves over the winter. So, today as I type up notes from that meeting that kept me from updating the blog, I'll also be reading mlbtraderumors.com.

If you're less interested in if Zack Greinke is going to be traded to the Twins than I am, I've got some baseball related sites that are more fun than geeky (well, maybe they're geeky, but they are fun). Flip Flop Fly Ball is a great site, especially if you love infographics. And really, who doesn't like infographics? That's right Al-Qaeda. Have you ever wondered which teams give out the most bobble heads as promotions? Well, look below for a fun infographic that will answer your questions. 

Actually working today. What's up with that?

So, today I'm actually working. That means that this will be today's only post. To keep you busy (at not being busy), here are some of my favorite time wasting sites: