Charlie Sheen's Craziness + Cats = AMAZING!

By now, you've no doubt heard about the nuclear-style meltdown that Charlie Sheen is having. He went off on an epic rant on The Alex Jones Show. Medium Large went ahead and added some of his amazingly awesome quotes to pictures of kittens (and cats). It's great. Check out some of my favorites below.

Even more Angry Birds

If you're sick of seeing Angry Birds videos skip this post. If not, then enjoy yet another video about angry birds. This one features notable animated birds and pigs (e.g. Darkwing Duck, Miss Piggy) calling for the end of the deadly Angry Birds war. It's humorous. Watch it.

This made Donald Glover cry from laughter. Maybe you'll like it

According to Donald Glover's (the guy that plays Troy on Community not the guy from Lethal Weapon) website, iamdonald.com, the video below made him cry from laughing. He's a funny guy, and I'm guessing that he sees a lot of funny stuff in his daily routine of starting in Community, doing stand-up, etc., therefore this must be funny. After watching it, I'll agree that it's funny, but I did not cry.

Y2Gay

The DOJ has stated that they won't be defending the Defense of Marriage Act. Yay! This likely won't change anything right now, but it is a big win for equality. For those that oppose this new stance, they can take some tips from the short film Y2Gay. Get it? It's like Y2K, but for the Gays. A quote from the movie "There's always something to be scared of."

Here's a bunch of fireworks going off...

Yep. This is a video of 320,000 firecrackers going off. Apparently it's a memorial to a family member. My only guess is that the family member being memorialized was a fireworks sales person, and over their career, they were responsible for 320,000 fingers being blown off. The other explanation is "AMERICA! FUCK YEAH!" Feel free to choose which ever explanation you like better.

The Daily Show was good last night. You should watch some clips of it today!

Last night's episode of The Daily Show was really solid. A great first 10 minutes of material on the House's move to de-fund Planned Parenthood, then a bit from John Oliver in Wisconsin, and finally Anderson Cooper. The best part was the first 10 minutes of the show (see below), where Jon succinctly sums up the Republicans' pro-life beliefs:

"You can't prevent an unwanted child, you can't get care if you do get pregnant, and we won't give you any help feeding the kid after it's born, BUT for those two minutes, when that skull is crowning, your baby is the most precious thing on earth"

Also, Senior Women's Issues Correspondent Kristen Schaal does a great bit on making sure that we de-fund everything that ties to abortion, which includes The Coast Guard, the FAA, and of course fire departments.

NBA All-Star Game Post.

The NBA had a game that featured their best players in LA this week. Justin Beber was voted MVP of the Celebrity game. Cool.

Well, that is enough about basketball, on to football. There are now two (2) college football QBs that have released "trick shot" videos on the youtube. I'm guessing this will now be a "thing" and we'll be seeing back-up QBs from more colleges that you've never heard of, or don't care about release videos. I for one welcome the videos. These back-up QBs have spent almost their entire lives trying to reach the college level, and now they're holding a clip-board on the sidelines of games that no one cares about. They need this, so let them have it.

That being said, they're both really fun to watch. Check 'em out.

The weather is so nice, I could go for some froyo right now

According to my Weather.com icon on my browser the temperature is a balmy 73 degrees here in DC (that is the only way that I know what the weather is like outside since I work in a windowless cave of despair). Weather like this makes me excited for spring, and therefore excited for frozen yogurt. Here's a clip that's pretty funny and is about a frozen yogurt shop.

Yeah, I'm cool. I know.

I went to a Girl Talk concert recently. I bring that up for no other reason then to prove that I am cooler than you. Here's a Girl Talk related cartoon that I came across today. Also, here's a video of said show:

President Clinton's teats, written by Louis CK

I've been listening to the WTF podcast with Marc Maron a lot this week. I think that I've mentioned the podcast on here previously, (just checked and, yes I have) and it's really worth listening to if you enjoy comedy and comedians. Marc had a two part interview with Louis CK, who is the funniest comedian on earth right now, and they brought up his writing for various shows, including The Dana Carvey Show and Late Night with Conan O'Brien. Two skits that were mentioned were the open skit from The Dana Carvey Show (which, as you're watching it, remember that this aired in prime-time immediatly after Home Improvement), and Bad Fruit Theater: Apocalypse Now. Both are really pretty weird and worth checking out.

Even more Bill Hader! Come drink some Hader-ade with me

Ok, my man-crush on Bill Hader is reaching new levels. I'm starting to see connections to him everywhere I look on the internet. For example, Splitsider has an article on all the movies that Bill Murray (another Bill, another man-crush, and fellow SNL alumni) was considered for and was not in (seriously, he was considered for Kindergarten Cop and Batman).

Also, I'm reading The Daily What today and I come across a Funny or Die skit where Film reviewers Eric Acosta and Wade Randolph make versions of movies that they are waiting for to come out. The skit features the movie "Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son" (I can also not wait for this movie to come out, since I believe that this is one of the first signs of the coming apocalypse). To tie this back to Hader, it stars Jaleel White, who stared as Urkel, and Hader's Stefon mentioned Furkel's (Black Urkels). Check out the FOD clip and a Bill Hader skit that is amazing.

Here's an antelope grooming a cat...

Yep, this is a video of an antelope grooming a cat. Enjoy some weird inter-species making out.

Stefon takes on Valentine's Day

I had a great Valentine's Day this year, but my one regret is that I didn't get my wife a human suitcase. I'll let Stefon explain what that one is (about 3:20 into the clip below). Just watch the Stefon clip below. It'll be the best thing you do all day at work. Honestly, it will.

Sharks are scary.

Sharks are scary. If you don't believe me, just ask a fish. Ok, you can't ask a fish. I realize that was a stupid comment. You know why you can't ask a fish? It's because sharks have eaten them, or are in the process of hunting them and they don't have time to answer your silly questions. Check out this video of some reef sharks darting through a school of fish and the school trying to avoid the shark at all costs.

Shit just got real...

So today I'm reading the facebook (yes, I refer to Facebook like a 65 year-old grandmother would, deal with it) and came across this headline "South Dakota Moves To Legalize Killing Abortion Providers" and I immediately think "well, that's obviously fake and from the Onion. Turns out it's not fake. It's real. Let that sink in for a second (here is a picture of me right when the headline sank in). In other news, Congress is attempting to de-fund Planned Parenthood. Rep. Mike Pence (R-Ind.) has introduced H.R. 217, which would deny federal family-planning funds under Title X to groups that offer abortion access (AKA Planned Parenthood).

Yep, people are so concerned about "babies" before they're born, yet once they pop out (I'm told that babies "pop out" and anyone that says differently is wrong) no one cares about them. Thankfully, Steven Colbert sees that once babies are born, that's when the problem starts. Check out his "Enemy Within" piece on toddlers.

And this is how Judgement Day starts...

IBM's super-computer Watson appeared on Jeopardy last night for the first part of a three-day contest versus two human competeators (Ken Jennings who has 74 straight wins, and all-time Jeopardy champ Brad Rutter). After last-night's show, Watson is tied with Brad Rutter with $5,000 each and Jennings is in third place with $2,000.

I can't help but feel this is exactly what Sarah Connor (of the Terminator franchise) was fearful of; a computer that starts to think like a human (also, if you haven't watched the Sarah Connor Chronicles, you should). I have a feeling that this article from McSweeney's, "Watson, The "Jeopardy!" Supercomputer, Sizes Up One His Opponents Before the Show.", is a pretty accurate account of what went down right before the show started. If you don't believe me that Watson is going to rule us all one day, check out the video of the practice round below.

Valentine's Day, NPR Style

NPR wants to wish you a happy Valentine's Day. To do that they've created eight Valentine's Day cards that you can send to your special someone. So, if you haven't already bought your sweetheart a card, then you're a cheap bastard then send them one of these.

Also, check out SNL's Delicious Dish featuring Florance Dusty and her surprisingly delicious muffins.

Mario Kart: France

Last week my wife and I had people over for a game night where we played Wii games all night (I kill at Wii Sports Resort and challenge anyone at table tennis!). One of the more popular games was Mario Kart Wii. This game is designed to be played in a party atmosphere because it's relatively easy to learn and play and you can screw over friends by bumping them off the course and hitting them with turtle shells.

These are all things that we'd like to do to our friends (and of course random strangers) at certain points, but we don't because that would be frowned upon by our friends, and more importantly, the police. One person is unencumbered by these restrictions, however. That person is Remi (could he be any more French?). Watch his Mario Kart inspired videos below.

Last week in memes

Two of my favorite things are coffee and chocolate. That tidbit of information doesn't relate to the memes that I'm going to mention in this post; I'm just dropping hints for Valentine's Day. Now back to the memes.

Two of my other favorite things are Ariel and Bill O'Reilly. By that I mean, I love the font (I am aware the font is spelled differently) and making fun of Bill "Pinhead not Patriot" O'Reilly. Luckily for me, they were both the target of memes last week. I am of course talking about Hipster Ariel (Ariel from The Little Mermaid with black-rimmed glasses) and Can't Explain That (were Bill proves that there must be a God because you can't explain the mysteries of the universe - where'd the moon come from?). Check out some of my favorites below.

F*ck yeah, It's a Captain America movie!

I was excited to see the first commercial for the new Captain America movie during the Super Bowl last Sunday. I was even more excited to see the Captain America trailer mash-up with Team America: World Police's America, F*ck Yeah! Check it out.

Mubarak steps down

So this is happening now: Mubarak resigns; hands power to Egyptian military. Watch the celebration live on Al Jazeera English. If you missed Vice President Suleiman's announcement that President Mubarak has stepped down you can check it out below.

Norm MacDonald is getting his own show, yay!

Norm MacDonald is getting his own show on Comedy Central, and if you're like me, then you're a below average speller. But that's neither here nor there. What's really important is that Norm's going to be back where he belongs, hosting a "fake news" show. Comedy Central is my favorite source for "fake news", with shows like The Daily Show and The Colbert Report (the addition of the Onion's SportsDome is nice as well), so I can't wait for Norm to join up too.

His new show is going to be called Sports Show with Norm MacDonald (I like the creativity on the title). It may sound like it might be too close to SportsDome, but I think that it'll separate itself from SportsDome given that Sports Show will be talking about actual games, where SportsDome is from the Onion and therefore completely made up. To get you primed for Norm's new show, please check out how hilarious this man is when talking about sports (this is the ESPY Awards monologue).

Louisiana is now Mary Kanada

I've mentioned Very Mary-Kate before (here), and I think it's a great online series. Really, it's the best online series where an actor impersonates one of the actors from Full House, Step-by-Stamos can't hold a candle to Very Mary-Kate (note: Step-by-Stamos doesn't actually exist, but it should). Anyway, I was bored at work yesterday and ended up watching about 10 episodes of Very Mary-Kate. I'm sure you don't have as much free time at work as I do, so just watch the one below. It's worth your time (If you're a consultant, just bill your client. They won't mind).

Brad Bird is a powerful man. Even his kidnappers are super famous

I love Pixar movies. Wall-E may be one of my favorite movies of all time, and if I had my way Toy Story 3 would win Best Picture at this year's Oscars. I've completely bought in to them 100% (speaking of which, read this Onion Op-ed piece from Pixar's Chief Creative Officer, John Lasseter). One of the main reasons that I've bought in to Pixar is their creative staff, which includes Brad Bird (He directed The Incredibles, Ratatouille, Iron Giant, etc.). He's a big deal at Pixar, and a big deal in Hollywood in general. He's stepped away from directing animated features and is now directing the new Mission Impossible movie (still can't say that I'm excited about that). Anyway, check out Brad Bird's acceptance speech for the Winsor McCay Award at this year's Annie Awards and I think you'll see how important this man is (if you don't want to watch the whole video, skip ahead to 4:30).

I want to have a 200-year-old Sunken Ship Ale

I like beer a lot (this apparently means that I'm easy), and I typically pick up on any beer news that pops up in my daily blog reading. One story that I recently came across involves researchers drinking the oldest drinkable beer. Researchers tasted samples of 200-year-old beer found in a Baltic Sea shipwreck, which they said had "burnt notes" and was "quite acidic." Yum!

Everything looks cooler in slow motion

It's days like today (currently 29 degrees outside) that make me wish the weather was nicer so that I could go outside and have fun. It'd be great to have a back yard so that I could go out there and play with my cat (that sounds dirty, but really it isn't you sickos). After watching this video there is no way that you won't want to go outside and play with your cat (again, this video is not dirty).

So you think your friend can Krump? No, not really.

I present this to you with no explanation besides, this is today's interweb video of the day. Please enjoy.

Yeah, the Packers won, but did you catch last night's Glee?

There was a big football game last night on TV. I watched it with a few friends and we all agreed that it was the least realistic game of football ever to be broadcast. I am of course talking about last night's Glee episode. Glee started with people doing back flips on bikes and cheerleaders with fireworks shooting out of their breasts, so far so good for keeping the Super Bowl crowd. Then they introduced that the football team was experiencing more conflicts about part of the team being in the lame Glee club, again, so far so good. 

Ron Swanson gets cornrows in this week's Parks and Recreation.

Please watch Parks and Recreation. I've said it before, and I'll keep saying it, it is one of the best shows on TV right now. Seriously, stop watching CSI, stop watching Grey's Anatomy (I'm really serious about Grey's; that show is really horrible), and start watching Parks and Rec. Ron Swanson is hilarious and this week's episode is all about Ron (and his ex-wife). Check out the trailer for this week's show.

McBain: The MOVIE!

McBain is America's favorite action hero (from an animated television show) and thanks to the geniuses at CollegeHumor.com, it appears the clips depicting McBain in earlier seasons of the Simpsons form a coherent single film. Check out the movie below. It's pretty excellent. My only wish is that I could see McBain: Let's Get Silly, which features McBain against a brick wall for 90 minutes (the movie cost $80 million dollars to film).

The New Pornographers are cooler and hipper than you are.

I really like The New Pornographers. I saw them open up for Belle & Sebastian a few years ago, and thought that they were great. Then I found out that they were Canadian, and I knew that I was going to love them (pretty much all of my favorite bands are from Canada).

Check out their new video for "Moves" off their album Together. The song is great, but the video is even better. The video is a trailer for a never-to-be-made biopic of the band's rise and eventual rise (I know it shouldn't work that way, but that's what the movie is about). It features so many of my man-crushes that it's too much work to list them all out (Bill Hader, Paul Rudd, John Oliver, David Glover, Wyatt Cenac, etc. Really, there are a lot of people and I don't like working).

I'm taking the day off, so read this thing that I posted last year.

I'm taking the day off today. Since I won't be in my cube trying to kill time, I won't be updating the blog today, therefore I won't be entertaining you (you're right, when do I ever do that). However, I can re-post a "classic" Three Hour Work Week post to keep you busy (classic means that it's from November, and that month was classic). So, enjoy something I wrote last year.

Do the holidays have you stressed (my answer would be "Dear God, yes!")? Do you sometimes wish you could punch a panda? Then you're a horrible person. I can meet you halfway though, and let you punch Nate Hill of Brooklyn NY. He dresses as a panda and allows people to punch him. He calls it Punch Me Panda. Here's how he describes it:

Jim Cantore vs. the THUNDERSNOW!!

Jim Cantore is my favorite meteorologist. He covers the big weather stories for The Weather Channel. I remember living in Florida and watching his coverage of hurricanes. You always knew that if he showed up in your town, or a town very close to yours, you were going to get hit hard. Today's Interweb Video of the Day is Jim Cantore reacting to my favorite weather phenomenon THUNDERSNOW! It's safe to say that he's pretty pumped to be experiencing it.

Egyptian People, the punching of Anderson Cooper will not be tolerated.

Apparently the people of Egypt are big SNL fans, because they've taken the "Andy and Pee-Wee's Night Out" digital short a little too seriously. Apparently Egyptians decided to throw some fists at American's sweetheart, Anderson Cooper. Check out the video of pro-Mubarak protesters (aka the police) attacking Cooper and his camera crew.

I'm against rape. House Republican's are against "rape rape"

I don't often use my blog to weigh in on political issues, but I'm going to do that with this post. I guess I'm just going to come out and say it, I'm against rape. There I said it. It may not be the most popular position, but that's just how I feel. People ask me why I feel that way as a male, what my stance is on various form of rape (date, statutory, etc.), and it's been difficult for me to explain my beliefs to people.

Thankfully, House Republicans have put forth a bill that will redefine rape in a more clear, and easy to describe way. They want to halt abortion funding to women who receive federal funds. You may be thinking "haven’t there been rules barring this for about 30 years already?" Well, yes, but there have been loopholes for cases such as rape. House Republicans are now trying to stop that pesky loophole by redefining rape. Now the only type of rape that will be counted towards the exception is "forcible rape". Now I now have a way to explain to people the type of rapes I'm against; rape rape.

John Oliver can even make a DVD intro funny.

I've often said that DVD intros are the best part of seeing a movie at home. The excitement of watching coming attractions to movies that have come and gone from theaters (and relevance), the FBI warning to not copy or distribute the DVD, and the little snippets of what production company made the movie I'm about to watch are sometimes the best part of the DVD experience (this is especially true if I'm watching something that Michael Bay had a hand in).

On second thought, maybe that's not true. No, just thought about it more, and it's not true at all. Normally  I just skip through all that to get to my Collectors Edition of Big Mamma's House. However if John Oliver did my DVD intros then I'd pay more attention. Yes, he's that funny. Deal with it. Check out his BBC America's DVD intro.

Why you shouldn't go to Palm Beach (No, it's not because of Spring Breakers)

The weather in DC, and much of the rest of the country, sucks. Given this fact, you might be thinking that now is the time to escape to someplace warm. That's not a bad idea, as long as you're not thinking of going to Palm Beach. Why would you say something like that you ask (trust me you did ask that; I heard you)? The reason I say don't go to Palm Beach is a massive school of sharks was spotted about 100 yards off Palm Beach. Watch this video to see what Steve Irwin (no, not that one) saw.

So you think your 5th grader can Krump?

Like any super hip person, I love krumping (am I spelling that right, because the red squiggle line keeps popping up under it). I remember when I was a 5th grader I was krumping, every day after school (seriously, what the hell is krumping?). Whenever I go home, my mom is always breaking out the old krumping uniforms and trophies from the krumping little league I was in. Go Fighting Oversized Hats!

Wait, just looked krumping up on Wikipedia. Apparently krumping is "characterized by free, expressive, exaggerated, and highly energetic movement involving the arms, head, legs, chest, and feet." Yeah, I never did that.

All that being said, here's a video of of some kids krumping way better than I could ever hope to.

If your cat uses the bathroom outside, spy on them, then dig up their stool.

I have a cat, but I often times have questions about them like, "Are cats natural manicurists?" "Who taste-tests cat food?" and "Who do you call if a cat gets stuck in a tree?" Well, thanks to the magic of the interweb, and some re-editing of an old VHS called From Cats to Kittens, I now know the answers these questions and more. I also know that the host is very odd, and the fashion of the 1980s was awesome (apparently cocaine is a hell of a drug).